Oh Boy!

I haven't posted in awhile due to the fact that I finally got around to telling my Dad & sisters and needed some time to clear my head. Here is some video on it.



I'm still so excited about this blog, I saw that a decent amount of people checked out my youtube video which made me smile. I'm really proud of what I'm doing, I know its still a long road, and that I still look like a 12 year old boy, but I have a sense of direction that I've been missing, for like my whole life. That feels pretty great even though I struggle in the moment sometimes.

One of the l things about this blog/ video project that I am passionate about is that I am learning. About the legal matters, health risks, and the emotional issues that one goes through, and its given me the chance to "give birth" to something I care deeply about. I am able to take the things going on with me, and put them outside myself, and look at them objectively at times, and then release it. Its the outlet I was seeking and I know I say thank you all the time, but again. Thank you, for watching.

While visiting with Lauren's extended family I met quite a few people all very warm & friendly, also some elderly folks, at one point I was sitting with a flock of them outside on a picnic table and felt perfectly content just talking about ice fishing and the good ol days. One woman hugged me and told me she thought I would be successful no matter what I did. I don't know why but I found that to be very encouraging. (Maybe its the fact that I'm unemployed, poor, and restless) I needed to hear something kind. I did end up talking to my Dad tonight, and he told me despite it being hard on him, he supported me. Thats just my Dad though, he's one of the most giving people I know (besides my Mom & Brother) I have the greatest family & I miss them. I still think of my wacky golden retriever Sandy digging for tennis balls in our yard shaking her tail wildly. They hold onto my past, I think they know I'm still just Jean. Or I hope so.

Changes...
Exciting things happen body while on T, one of them happens to be an increase in energy & sex drive. I've noticed a huge upswing in both. Sometimes I'm good, I'll go running, ride my bike or walk around the city. and as far as the lovin, lets just say that I feel like a 16 year old boy on the inside. Transitioning while in something that looks like a relationship, and talks like a relationship has been of great comfort.

You would be surprised by those who will support you.
While eating lunch with one of my guy friends from College (and he lives just a few blocks down from me!) commented on my hairy armpits saying "hair doesn't make you a guy." It wasn't a challenge, or a threat it was more of a lesson. Sometimes I really do feel like an awkward 14 year old boy, buying Gillette shavers, packing, condoms, wanting....

There is one thing that always helps. When I got out of the shower the other day Lauren told me she likes my clean boy smell. Swoon.